Inside the Rehearsal Room for Buyer & Cellar

Rehearsal photos by Genevieve Girling

Written by Penny

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A one person play written in 2013 by Jonathan Tolins, Buyer & Cellar is an outrageous comedy about the price of fame, the cost of things and the most random job that you could imagine. Its central character is Alex More, played in this production by the wonderful Rob Madge, and the story, as Alex quickly tells us in the play’s Prologue, is mostly made up.

However, its setting is completely real. Barbra Streisand really did build a shopping mall in her cellar. But while it’s a bit of a shame that this mall doesn’t boast a Primark or a JD Sports (other budget retail outlets are also available), it’s rather ironic that she used it to store and display her fabulous trinkets, art and clothes – taking the idea of a walk-in wardrobe to a whole new level. 

The play follows Alex’s experiences when he gets a job working in one of the fictional shops in Barbra’s cellar, with the story telling us about his sacking from Disneyland, his relationship with screenwriter boyfriend Barry, and a growing rapport with Barbra herself.

Ahead of the play’s opening at London’s Kings Head Theatre, I had the chance to watch Rob perform the play’s Prologue which sets it up perfectly, and then have a chat with Rob and writer Jonathan.

The writing is perfectly suited to Rob. They instantly build a rapport with the audience, drawing us into the story with a conspiratorial grin and an anecdote (true) about Jonathan Tolins, Barbra Streisand and a Kit Kat. We are told about how the shopping mall came to exist (this is the part that’s real!) and then sets up the idea that there could be a story to be told if that shopping mall had actually had real shops and staff …

My interest is piqued already and I’ve only seen the opening monologue!

Given the opportunity to chat to writer Jonathan Tolins, I was keen to find out what inspired him to write the play. He told me:

“Streisand’s 2010 book, ‘My Passion for Design’, has a chapter about her basement in which she built a shopping mall. There’s a cobblestone street with little boutiques where she has her dresses and art collection. When I read that I made the joke, ‘Boy how’d you like to be the guy who works down there?’ And it was just one of those funny ideas that I felt I could build a whole story around”.

And as for the icon herself, I asked Jonathan for his favourite Barbra anecdote or story:

“She did an interview in the 70s and was talking about Jon Peters with whom she was in a relationship for a while. People didn’t like him very much and she was asked why she was with him and she said ‘he knew what to do on Sundays’. She repeats this in her autobiography but that line says so much and is such a smart and poetic way of saying there’s a certain kind of loneliness and emptiness that comes on a day when you don’t have things to do, particularly when you’re someone who is used to having a very busy and full life. 

And I just thought I get her, I know her. I’ve always loved that”.

Following recent successful runs of their autobiographical show My Son’s A Queer (But What Can You Do?) at the Edinburgh Fringe and on tour around the UK, I asked Rob to tell me a little about their character in Buyer & Cellar:

“I actually play a plethora [of characters] but the fundamental storyteller is Alex More, an out of work actor in LA. He has a jobbing screenplay writer boyfriend called Barry who’s bitter and resentful. Barry’s not doing well in the business but Alex is very chilled and relaxed, he’s a kind soul and he ends up working for Barbra Streisand in her basement. As you do”.

And on the difference they have found learning and rehearsing somebody else’s words rather than a self-penned script:

“It’s really challenging but very exciting to try what I thought I knew but in a totally different context. A one person show isn’t easy. If you don’t know what the next paragraph is because you haven’t written it yourself there’s no hiding it. It’s been hard work but really satisfying when you get it right. And Jonathan is the most amazing writer so it comes out quite easily”.

Rob’s character comes to be working for Barbra after being sacked from Disneyland. Rob has a well-known love of all things Disney, telling me that as soon as they read about it in the script they said “I must do this role!”. 

But what character would Rob play at Disneyland?

“I think I’d be Maleficent, that’s always my number one choice. But I think I’d end up being cast as Dopey or something like that!”

And, why would they get fired?

“Oh for turning the parade into my own one and making my dad play all the other parts!”

Now, there’s an idea for a show …

I love the idea of working in a superstar’s basement shopping mall and asked Rob and Jonathan whose basement they would choose for their shop:

Rob: “Victoria Wood, always. I’d love a Victoria Wood shop and I’d love to work for her. Victoria, come back to us you’re dearly missed. She was my Barbra”.

Jonathan: “I’m an opera geek so I’d want to be in Richard Wagner’s basement but I don’t know if I’d be happily employed there. I’d be interested in working in the basement of Leonard Bernstein’s house because of the fascinating people who’d be coming through, Also his house is very close to where I live!”

Got to love an easy commute!

Finally I asked Rob and Jonathan why people should book to see Buyer & Cellar:

Jonathan: “It’s funny and you’ll find you know more about Barbra Streisand than you thought you did and you’re going to get to spend a great time with Rob Madge!”

Rob: “Come and see it iif you want a really good laugh, if you like a bit of Barbra Streisand and if you want to see a great show that talks about the relationship between a number one fan and the biggest gay icon in the world, Barbra Streisand!”

Iconic stuff! 

Buyer & Cellar runs at the Kings Head Theatre from 18th September – 19th October 2024.

It will then run at The Drum, Theatre Royal Plymouth from 29th October – 2nd November 2024.